Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
