u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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