im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
