Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
