No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
