Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize