my sisters under your porch take her home
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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