All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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