so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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