it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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