Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
