Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
