your parents love me but you hate me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
