Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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