and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
