Having a random hookup so left but love u
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize