just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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