I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
