Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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