I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
