careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
