i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize