I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize