Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
