a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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