Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
