Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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