Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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