we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
