God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
