we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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