Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
