I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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