You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
