I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
A+ Viking dick
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize