I faked an abortion last night.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
