If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
