woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was like eating out sand paper
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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