when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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