I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
