I wish I could teleport
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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