Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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