she was so not down for the gang bang
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
