Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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