They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
