doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
