there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
