I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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