OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
why is half of my head shaved?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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