Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.