Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.