That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.