I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no