I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket