perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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