? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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