You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
