he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
