the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
