You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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