This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
