How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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