I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize