ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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