i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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