You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize