I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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