Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
