found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
