Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
